- Appreciate the differences
- Incorporate the differences, 3rd Alternative
- Soften the differences and move towards each other’s style or preference
Are you easily irritated? Do little things become big problems? Are you and your spouse having trouble communicating? Are you two not getting along? Are you less satisfied at home? are you not happy at home or in your relationship? are you have a hard time getting motivated? for women, are your periods heavier or longer?
Humans have a need for love, touch, intimacy, and sex – in general. People in committed relationships have a bigger need for touch, intimacy, and sex than those not in committed relationships, over time they become, rightfully, dependent on the touch of, affection of and from, and sex and sexual activity with their partner because that partner is the sole provider of romantic love and sex and sexual activity.
try giving and getting love, touch, intimacy, sex, and sexual activity and being good, game, and giving everyday, preferably twice a day, for thirty uninterrupted minutes at a time, for a month and see how you, your partner, your home, and your relationship feel at the end of thirty days and then stop, completely, no touching or anything, for at least ten non-period days – no love or touch or intimacy or sex or sexual activity at all – and see how you and your partner and your relationship feel.
i bet after the thirty days – you, you partner, and your relationship feel good, feel connected, feel intimate, are communicating better, letting the little irritations go, doing little things for each other, being more playful and flirty and affection with each other.
i bet after the following ten days, of non touching or kissing or sex or sensual-sexual activity, you and your partner and your relationship and your home are tense and on edge.. Little things become fights. You
love, touch, intimacy, sex, and sexual activity are like exercise and eating healthy, you may think you you don’t need them, but you do. you may not “want” them, but you do need them. You know they are good for you, but doing them, especially when you are busy or “don’t need them” is tough. Once you start them and do and get them regularly, eating healthy and exercising regularly then stop for a prolonged period, you (will) realize how good they are for you and how much you actually do need them. Watch an episode of fit to fat to fit to see how an ultra in-shape, healthy eating trainer gets out of shape and fat and depressed and toxic when he or she stops eating healthy and stops working out and how much better he or she feels when he/she gets back into shape and eats healthy. Watch how much better the client, who never ate healthy and never worked out, feels when he or she starts working out daily and eating healthy every day and that becomes just a part of their life that he or she does every day and puts time and effort into – because it makes them feel good, physically and emotionally and mentally and spiritually.
if you are not getting enough and quality love, touch, intimacy, sex, and sexual activity then you could be sexgry.
if you are the “low-drive” partner and don’t feel “desire” or “aroused” often so you don’t do initiate and you say no then you are making yourself sexgry, making your partner sexgry, making your home sexgry, and making your relationship sexgry.
if you have a good sensual sexual affectionate playful erotic committed love life with a partner and stop putting in the time and effort, you and he/she and your home and your relationship will become out of shape, depressed, fat, and maybe even toxic.
if you and your partner have never had a good sensual sexual affectionate playful erotic committed love life then put in the creativity and the time and the effort every day and you will see and feel and reap the benefits.
Couples get along better when they have regular, frequent, loving, fun, sex and sexual activity. The opposite is true as well.
Sexgry is the growing emotional, physical, physiological, and relational frustration and anger and malaise that an individual or both individuals in a committed monogamous relationship get and which starts to permeate and negatively affect the committed relationship when the two people engage in little or no sexual activity and intimacy over a prolonged period of time (which is subjective to each person in each committed relationship).
Trademark on “Sexgry” pending.
Sex and sexual activity and touch are “human” needs for both individuals in a committed monogamous relationship – it connective, it is bonding, it is emotional, it is physical, it is an expression of love, it is an expression of attraction towards the other, it is an expression of desire for the other, it is an expression of affection, it it is exciting (or, most of the time, should be), it is an expression of willingness, it is an expression of being giving and good and game, it is an expression of generosity, it is an expression of how open you are to the other person.
Regular, frequent Touch and Sex, and having Orgasms (especially women) has dozens of benefits for each individual in the committed monogamous relationship and for the relationship itself: increased marital satisfaction, more passion/desire, more passion/desire for each, having more sex = wanting to have more sex = having more sex, helps incontinence (bladder control/ leakage), migraine relief (maybe prevention), natural pain killer, helps make skin glow, keeps skin young and healthy, clearer skin (less acne and fewer blemishes), helps keep skin moisturized/ hydrated (through better circulation), eliminates/ prevent wrinkles, healthier hair, strengthens nails, helps cure common cold*, increased energy, better sleep, anti-aging, improves flexibility, improves mood, increases longevity, boosts confidence, increases intimacy, boosts immune system, weight loss, improved cardiovascular health, increased happiness, relieves pain, stress relief, depression & anxiety relief, whiter & healthier teeth (semen/bjs), lowers blood pressure, increased self-esteem, lower body toning, improved posture, increases estrogen and testosterone [women need both], better circulation, cuts risk of cancer, less neuroticism; Health Benefits For women: cuts risk of breast cancer, helps with out-of-control periods, increases estrogen and testosterone [women need both], helps keep the vagina healthy and young; Health Benefits For men: cuts risk of prostate cancer, and More sex means even less ED risk. Men who have sex at least three times a week are only one-fourth as likely to get erectile dysfunction as are men who have less-than-weekly sex [sex/sexual activity/ stimulation/ erections, not necessarily full cumming orgasms] which means he and his cock or dick are good-to-go for you pleasure. Both the vagina and penis are muscles, muscles need exercise, and if you don’t use them, you lose them.
When a couple does not engage in regular, frequent Touch and Sex and Orgasms and touch and sex and orgasms becomes sporadic, infrequent, almost non-existent then there are dozens of negative consequences, the opposites of the benefits, that will affect each individual and the relationship: less passion/desire, less passion/desire for each other, decreased marital satisfaction, increased bladder leakage, worse skin (dry, wrinkles, sallow/ lack of color, poor complexion – acne/blemishes), worse hair (brittle, dry, split ends, falls out more easily), weaker nails, lower immune system – more susceptible to colds etc, decreased energy, worse sleep, decreased flexibility, worse mood, shortened life, decreased confidence, decreased intimacy, no weight loss help, no cardiovascular health help, decreased happiness, increased stress, increased susceptibility to depression & anxiety, no blood pressure help, decreased self-esteem, less lower body toning, no posture improvement, no (good) hormonal increases or balancing, less sex, decreased marital satisfaction: Consequences Just for Women: irregular and/or or out-of-control periods; Consequences for Men: increased erectile dysfunction.
“Call it a catch-69, the cruel irony that a proven cure for stress — a hot sex life — is exactly what stress destroys. Connecting with a partner (and I mean physically) is a balm for the body. “Being in an intimate relationship correlates to healing faster, getting sick less often and living longer,” says James Coan, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. “Good relationships offset tension in daily life.” Anxiety spikes blood pressure, which hobbles the immune system. “But when you have sex, you release feel-good hormones, including oxytocin and endorphins,” Coan adds. Eventually, you begin to associate your partner with those positive feelings, and he becomes someone you trust to be your soother during tough times…. “If the sex is satisfying, it’s one part of a larger relationship,” say Dr. Laura Berman. “But if your sex life isn’t working, the entire relationship is vulnerable to distancing, infidelity and a breakup. Sex eases anger. When we connect physically, we cut our partners slack. But when there’s no sexual connection, you get angrier quicker. Feeling angry, you’re less likely to want sex. Before long, you’re not having it at all and the relationship frays. Over time, it will crumble.”… Indeed, simply holding hands can allay stress, Coan’s research shows…. Kissing and hugging, too, alleviate daily anxiety. Berman’s research found that unaffectionate couples report more stress and depression than their cuddling counterparts, and pairs who smooch a lot are eight times less likely to be tense or depressed. The best way to stay connected and stress-free, scientists believe, is to keep the touching going, especially during rocky times….
Lack of sex and affection and intimacy – all forms including sexual – makes it harder for love to survive through the toughest time and makes us not to love and be loved by our partners – i.e. sexgry.
Don’t let your sexgriness poison your relationship.
“The secret to sexual satisfaction is confidence and the secret to confidence is sexual satisfaction. It might seem like a chicken-and-egg situation, but in this case we know which comes first – It’s your sexuality.” from The Ripple Effect
Mark Gungor’s introduction that he wrote in this wonderful book The Bead Method:
Marriage, at its most basic foundation, is a sexual contract. Think about it. When a couple stands at the altar and says, “I do,” what they are essentially saying is “I’LL DO you, you’ll DO me, and we won’t DO anybody else!” While marriage has many other wonderful, challenging and fascinating aspects, it is first and foremost a sexual agreement.
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” – Genesis 2:24
Oh I know, I know, there is more to marriage than just sex… just as a house is much more than its concrete foundation. Indeed, the house may have many beautiful rooms that contain countless valuable treasures of far more interest and allure than the foundation. But remove the foundation and that house will come crashing down – no matter how beautiful the rooms or valuable the contents inside.
Yes there is more to marriage than sex. There is love: but you don’t need a marriage license to love someone. There is commitment; but you don’t need a marriage license to be committed to someone. There are financial considerations; but you can totally support someone financially for the rest of their life without the need of a marriage license. There is also friendship: but you can be the best friend in the world to someone without marrying him or her. There are even spiritual considerations and perspectives like serving God together; but you don’t need a marriage license to do that either. Only when it comes to sex does God require the covenant of marriage.
quote found on http://loveseatmarriage.com/1-firm-foundation/