Sex is like Food to a marriage

Just read a post on facebook by Someecards a few days ago about a wife who gave her a husband a quickie after several days of denying him sex and probably sexual activity which is, again, using Mistress Ivey’s definition, any activity of a sensual or sexual nature.  And that she thinks that he will be happy for a few days because of the quickie.

Writer’s note:  I will probably edit and re-edit this post as I more thoroughly think through and breakdown the food/ sex- sexual activity in marriage analogy.

She is, I think, wrong.

A quickie is the equivalent of a candy bar, let’s say Snickers since Snickers had the “You’re Not Yourself When You’re Hungry” commercials.  A Snickers tastes good and it can diminish hunger and it can make you feel full, but it won’t sustain you.  It has almost no nutrition and it’s empty calories. It can be a snack or a treat or even  a dessert, but it’s not a meal.

Having a Snickers a day as your only food might keep you alive, but you will start feeling terrible quite quickly, you will have health problems, and, with only relatively small amount of empty calories, you will wither away.  Plus a Snickers every once in a while is a treat or a break (yes, I know that’s a kit-kat bar, not that I’ve had one in a long time and the same goes for a Snickers).  A Snickers a day is better than no food at all each day. A Snickers is a snack meant to give you energy and to get you to your next meal.  No one really savors a Snickers.  No one thinks back even an hour later and says wow that was a great Snickers.

Having a Snickers as your only food and having it only every few days is worse and will have the same results if not worse than a Snickers each day instead of real food: you will always be hungry, you will start feeling terrible quite quickly, you will have health problems, and, with only relatively small amount of empty calories, you will wither away.

Having a Snickers after not having any food for a day or two or a few days won’t make the hunger go away and may make you feel hungrier.

If the only sex you have is a quickie each day then that quickie can keep your marriage alive, but it’s not that connecting, not that bonding.  It’s only a little of quality time and no quantity time.  A quickie should be fun, exciting, erotic – like in a lobby bathroom of a luxury hotel or the in car.  A quickie is one note, one activity. A quickie can be fun, bonding interlude or bridge until a good meal of sexual activity and sensuality can be served, but it’s not a meal and it’s not meant to substitute for a sexual/sensual session that is not really limited by time or location or in activity.  A quickie everyday is better than no sex or sexual activity at all, but they will become unfulfilling and monotonous quickly.

A quickie when you and your husband haven’t had sex in days might be worse than no sex at all – it can and usually does feel like you just want to get it over with which will leave him unsatisfied and sad and it won’t be fulfilling or filling to him because he wants you to be into sex with him and want him and to be bonding and connecting.

 

 

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