In yesterday’s post, I used spouse to convey that the person being written about could be a man or woman, husband or wife.
I don’t like spouse. It sounds cold and distant. Wife or Husband is better, but not much. Neither really conveys love or depth of connection, intimacy, or commitment.
Lover is best, but it has to come to be perceived as something only sexual, is usually associated with an illicit affair, and usually refers to a male so it needs to be taken back.
Many of the definitions of Lover posted fit wife or husband or lover and are traits a person wants in a lover: confidant, there for the good times and the bad, life-long partner, passion, day-to-day living, a lover makes feel another feel loved.
“That is a hard one. I guess I would have to say there is a difference between a lover and someone you just have sex with. A lover wants to be with you for more then sex, they want to be there for the good times and the bad times. The other just wants the sex and then leaves.. that would be my take on it.”
“I dream that my lover will be my life-long partner. My best friend and confidant… he with laugh with me, dance we when are alone, touch me as walks by, tell me how beautiful I am and mean it through his eyes. He will anticipate me as I do him and hang on throughout the night. He will miss me when we are apart but accept that life offers seperation at times so that we may rejoice in one another’s arms when time brings us back together…
He will Love me physically, emotionally and honestly. He will have no doubt he is loved in the same manner.”
“For me, a lover is someone that I am in a committed relationship with. It’s the whispers in the dark, intimacy on many levels. A lover is someone that you don’t take for granted and they feel the same about you.
“It’s different than an SO. A lover knows your secrets and loves you anyway. It’s passion, day-to-day living, and real life. Just on a more intimate level. It’s a fine line that needs to be walked to keep things fresh. Your priorities straight.”
“If I have a lover that means I love him. It’s not casual.”
“A lover is one who cares enough to do ‘little things’ that the loved one deems special, or romantic, and also appreciates when the loved one does little things to reciprocate; for when a loved one is taken for granted they are boxed into a position of certain servitude and unhappiness from not feeling validated.
A lover is one who makes the loved one feel special and important.-in other words, a lover makes another feel loved.”